Fridays Are For Fightin’

I’m better. I realized that the previous post was very depressing; I even got told it was depressing and sad. I made a promise to myself though that I would post everything here and that’s what I did. I had feelings and I wrote about them.

Hi, my name is Kristen and I write about feelings.

I’m going to write about more feelings, so if you get sick at that sort of thing, you might want to click the x. There was your warning.

Today I was feeling bored and anxious. I woke up feeling slightly hung over. I went out last night and like I do, I drank. I also had some of the best conversations I’ve had in a long, long time. I used to think the epitomy of conversation was my best friend and I sitting on my drive way on a hot, sticky South Texas night. We would eat Ben & Jerry’s and just talk. Last night I had conversations that topped it all. It was still just basic talking but there was an openness about it all that changed the dynamics. I’m putting my foot down and saying the alcohol had nothing to do with it.

I woke up wanting that conversation again. I kept thinking about what was said, what I added to the conversation and what I got out of it all. I also got some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten. I was anxious for it to happen. It was so cathartic.

I also woke up bored. Now that I am not busy at all I do nothing. I mean nothing. Nothing. You would think that I would be happy, right? I’m not at all. I hate this. I over think everything when I have nothing to do. Right now is not the best time to even over think things. I have nothing to put my mind at ease so I go over past situations in my head on repeat. This is not good. I’m counting down till I start work.

I look forward to the weekend. I have things to do. Graduation parties, session with the kid who is autistic, and some awesome exotic car show. The busier I am, the happier I am.